I do not understand it any more.  Why I need to gamble.  I have a good job.  Can make ends meet, at least if I'm not guessing.

I can’t see what brought you to gambling and relapse, I can tell you what it was like for me

Hi Wilco1973, thank you for your contribution and tips. Gambling started for me with a guilder when I was a child. I loved the lights and sounds of the machine. And then I also won money. I have always pursued that tension. But now it has become for me an escape from everyday life, from my feelings. The more I lose the worse and more depressed I feel. And in that feeling I seem to feel at home at that moment. A kind of rush. Only after the rush does the regret come.

TripleR just said:

Hi Wilco1973, thank you for your contribution and tips. Gambling started for me with a guilder when I was a child. I loved the lights and sounds of the machine. And then I also won money. I have always pursued that tension. But now it has become for me an escape from everyday life, from my feelings. The more I lose the worse and more depressed I feel. And in that feeling I seem to feel at home at that moment. A kind of rush. Only after the rush does the regret come.

Do you or anyone else recognize this?

yes I certainly recognize thatDon’t make your heart a murder pit and just indicate that you have a problem and want help. That is very difficult, I also thought it was terrible to do, but once done it takes a load off your shoulders, and I only got positive reactions. Only this cannot be broken (in my experience)

Yes, I’m afraid you’re right. I’ve told her in the past. Then I got one last chance. It’s over now. If I come up with this again, after all the lying, then my relationship is over. I have to do it alone. BUT then it doesn’t work. That’s why I started on this forum. Hopefully this is a source of strength and support.

BUT you’re right, honesty is needed. I’m just too cowardly.

Efterlad et Svar

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