I do not understand it any more. Why I need to gamble. I have a good job. Can make ends meet, at least if I'm not guessing.
I can’t see what brought you to gambling and relapse, I can tell you what it was like for me…
Hi Wilco1973, thank you for your contribution and tips. Gambling started for me with a guilder when I was a child. I loved the lights and sounds of the machine. And then I also won money. I have always pursued that tension. But now it has become for me an escape from everyday life, from my feelings. The more I lose the worse and more depressed I feel. And in that feeling I seem to feel at home at that moment. A kind of rush. Only after the rush does the regret come.
TripleR just said:
Hi Wilco1973, thank you for your contribution and tips. Gambling started for me with a guilder when I was a child. I loved the lights and sounds of the machine. And then I also won money. I have always pursued that tension. But now it has become for me an escape from everyday life, from my feelings. The more I lose the worse and more depressed I feel. And in that feeling I seem to feel at home at that moment. A kind of rush. Only after the rush does the regret come.
Do you or anyone else recognize this?
yes I certainly recognize that… Don’t make your heart a murder pit and just indicate that you have a problem and want help. That is very difficult, I also thought it was terrible to do, but once done it takes a load off your shoulders, and I only got positive reactions. Only this cannot be broken (in my experience)
Yes, I’m afraid you’re right. I’ve told her in the past. Then I got one last chance. It’s over now. If I come up with this again, after all the lying, then my relationship is over. I have to do it alone. BUT then it doesn’t work. That’s why I started on this forum. Hopefully this is a source of strength and support.
BUT you’re right, honesty is needed. I’m just too cowardly.